A Letter To Old People

Dear Old People,

I think I speak for (almost) every person between the age of 15 and 35, the so-called “Millennials”, on this floating blue marble we called Earth when I say: CHILL! We got this.

In the last couple of years, we have been lambasted with articles after articles about how us Millennials are lazy, resisting adulthood, narcissistic, and downright just not worth the oxygen we breath because we’re all that’s wrong with the world.  It’s like everywhere you look, someone’s writing something about it (hey, me too!).

We get it. We’re ruining your world perception.  You call us guys kids for not getting married, even though all of you are getting divorced faster than a hummingbird flapping its wings. You call females promiscuous just because they’ve learned to enjoy sex and their body, even as you try to control what they can and cannot do with their body.  Before I continue, let’s talk about what YOU have done to get us all to this current spot:

  • YOU have caused the biggest worldwide market collapse since the Great Depression, all thanks to your greed (bankers), willful ignorance (shareholders), corruption (politicians), and absurdity (taxpayers)
  • YOU have done everything you can to pollute our planet.  Thanks to you, global warming will happen.  A trash pile the size of Texas is floating somewhere in the pacific. Elephants and rhinos are going extinct because you have a weird obsession with outdated beliefs.  You put money above clean air, clean water, and a clean Earth. And what’s worse of all? YOU continue to do all this while other YOUs are trying to convince you otherwise because YOU are gullible and short-sighted.
  • YOU have been slow to progress on the social front.  Only 17 countries has legalized gay marriage.  Hell, some of YOU are even regressing backward when it comes to this, especially rights for women, minorities, and just plain hell everyone that doesn’t look like YOU.

I can go on, but I’ll stop here.  So pretty much, you’ve fucked up old people.  You tell us Millennials to get jobs even though it was YOU who destroyed those jobs in the first place, then implement backward-ass policy (austerity much?) that turned what would have been a 1 year slowdown to a 6 year and counting crawl (Japan just entered a recession.  Europe can’t get its head out of its ass. And the US is saved only by the might of…Millennials?) And guess what, it’ll be on our back when we have to support your retirement plan, which you also royally screwed up by listening to politician promises instead of just doing the simple math.  And then you have the audacity to blame us. *Laughs*.

So yes.  Thanks to YOU, us Millennials are all in a pretty tight spot.  But you know what, it ain’t no sweat.  WE got this.  We’re entrepreneurs. We’re creating businesses left and right, and they’re succeeding.  And hey, if we fail? no sweat.  Thanks to all the hardships you had created for us, we’ve learned to live without regrets, to take risks.  You believe working 40 hours a week, having a nice home, while vacationing once a year is enough.  Well fuck that shit.  We yearn to travel.  To explore new sights.  New cultures.  Sure, by the time we’re 30, we’re most likely still not gonna know what to do, but at least we’ll be more culturally aware more than you.  Which means we’ll be able to empathize better too.  Which means all those backward policies you got going on right now? (gay marriage, drug laws, etc etc), we’re gonna fix all that in the next 10 years.  Hell, maybe women will finally be able to drive in Saudi Arabia.

So, thanks for raising us.  You made us this way.  But it’s alright.  We’ll dig you out of this mess.  We’ll dig us all out of this mess.  Maybe then our kids,  your grandkids, will be able to grow up in a cleaner world, a safer world, a world free of prejudice and  discrimination.  Idealistic?  Maybe.  But it will be our world soon, whether you like it or not.  Our world to fix. Our world to save.  Our world to grow.

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