Everyone Should Be Conceited

Be like the Eiffel Tower.  Be Conceited

Be like the Eiffel Tower. Be Conceited

Yes.  You read right.  I believe everyone should be conceited (side note: google chrome is trying to tell me I spelled the word wrong and instead think it should be “concerned.”  Funny).  You should also see there that I went with the more negative connotation word, instead of say, perhaps using confident.  Well,  I could have also use arrogant, but arrogant goes into being mean and asshole-ish, whereas conceited is more of a self-inflection.

Okay, you don’t like that word?  Fine, from now on, just replace it in your mind with “self-confident.”  But see, self-confident takes too many letters to write, so I’ll just write conceited.  Then we’re both happy.  And happy readers make for returning readers! (Don’t forget to subscribe to the RSS feed above!).  Alrighty then, since all of that is out of the way, let’s dig deeper.

You Crazy In Thinking Everyone Should Be Conceited

As the oft expression goes, only like a fox my dear.  Only like a fox (for the non-American, go here for a short explanation).  Jesus once said, “Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whomever humbled himself shall be exalted.”  One possible interpretation of that is that he was trying to say, don’t speak loudly, but instead keep your head down, do your work, and one day, you shall be recognize.  As much as I love the dude, I’m gonna go ahead and say I completely disagree.

Blasphemy

No really, think about it this way.  Why is in modern time we have so many people who have self-issues about themselves?  Whether it’d be how they physically look, fat, skinny, ugly, whatever.  Growing up, you have everyone trying to tell us, “hey, don’t be all conceited.  Don’t think you’re all that, because it’s just gonna come back and bite you in the ass when you fail.”

Hmm, thanks asshole for believing I’m gonna fail.  Well, okay, let’s not call each other names, but you get my drift don’t you?  As a kid, you’re told and taught to be humbled, and so growing up, anytime you think about how awesome you are at something, that nagging voice by your parents/tutor/pastor/imaginary friend/the devil tells you nope, don’t say anything, even if you are that awesome, because no one wants to hear it.

Well, you know what, I say screw it all.  You should be as conceited and think about you’re all that as much as you want.  Hell, even if you lie in bed, doing nothing, staring wastelessly(not a real word..but should be..) at the sky, you’re still a badass motherfucka.  Why?  Let’s go over some reasons.

  1. You are the direct descendant of ancestors that had managed to avoid getting killed by animals/diseases/starvation/thirst/magnetic flux/war/paper cuts long enough to produce you.  That’s right. 40,000 years of history, and that produced you.  That alone quantifies you as one of the most unique living thing in the entire universe.  Literally, you are the results of survivors.  And you know what you call survivors?  Awesome badass.  So you’re the son/daughter of awesome badasses.  That makes you, be transitive property, badass yourself.
  2. No one else before you is like you, and no one else coming after you will be like you.  Like literally, once you die, that’s it.  No one can ever emulate you 100% until the ends of time, whenever that may be.  And even beyond the end of time, no one will ever be able to capture your multifaceted point.  So score yourself another point you badass awesome human.
  3. Do you know how many living things are depending on you to survive?  All those bacterias, worms, single cell, multi-cell organism that’s squirming all over and inside your body.  They need YOU to survive.  Without you, they will die!  So, basically, to them, you’re their god.  Pat yourself on the back you smirking son of a bitch, you’re the sole breadwinner for over a billion living thing.  So be proud of yourself.

Okay…you’re slowly starting to convince me

Eff yeah I am.  Look, I’m gonna break this down so simple that even I can understand it.  How can you expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself?  How can you expect others to see your awesomeness if you don’t see it in yourself….yourself? (Grammatically correct?  Comment below).  So, stop thinking you’re nothing, and start thinking you’re everything.  You walk weird?  Well, screw that, you’re just walking awesome, and everyone else is walking crooked.

Believe in everything you do is the greatest thing in the short history of mankind.  Let others look at you and admire at how awesome you are.  Don’t waste your time thinking how they think about you.  Life is too short for that.  Literally, it is. I mean, we only live what, 80 years? Max?  Okay, 100 if you’re Japanese.  But still, that’s damn short.  Why waste your time worrying over others opinion when the biggest opinion you should worry about is the one you think of yourself.  And you know how you should be thinking about yourself?

Awesome?

Internet high five for you!  So yes, I think everyone should be conceited.  They should think so highly of themselves that their head is at the edge of the universe and still expanding.  Other people are laughing at you for thinking so highly of yourself even though they think you got nothing to show for it?  Ah, see, here, the joke is on them.  Because you know better.  You know you have so many things to show for yourself that you would need a sun to fill up all the space.  All you know is that you’ll walk with your head high, and let these petty other people try to bring you down.

You see, that’s the great thing about human beings though.  When you start thinking highly of yourself, you will resonate an aura that will attract others who think you’re awesome too.  Soon, all the deadweights will be moaning about why they’re not as conceited as you while you’re around other people who think you’re awesome, and you think the same of them, and all of you live happily ever after.  If you don’t, eh *shrug*.  At least you tried.

Summarize please

No need to write long.  Just remember this:  Spread your awesome sauce.  You must think so highly of yourself that even yourself from yesterday is jealous of how you think of yourself today.  Humbleness was used to enslave people back in the day, to force them into a submissive role.  Well, you badass mofo, you are not gonna submit to anyone.  Because now you, like myself, believe that everyone should be conceited.  Go.  Be conceited.  Or confident.  Or whatever. Just always think highly of yourself.  So, I leave you this video on how you should be walking everyday outside.

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.